I've been on enough stupidly long journeys in the last few years to last a lifetime. Here are my dos and don't for long-haul travel as I prepare for my latest adventure in Japan.
1. You can have either a cheap flight or a convenient flight, never both.
If you've got money to burn then by all means get a nice, direct lunchtime flight, but if you're a bit strapped for cash like I usually am you should explore all the possibilities. I saved a whopping £100 on my return flight from Bremen to New York because I was willing to set off at 11pm from Bremen to London-Stansted, get two night buses to Heathrow, sleep on the terminal floor while spooning my suitcase, fly 11 hours to Miami and then wait there for 7 hours for a connecting flight to New York - BARGAIN.
2. Don't be that guy.
We've all been there. You're just settling into your seat for a long flight when the idiot in front of you decides he's going to recline and enjoy a nice little nap completely oblivious to the fact that he's just forced your knees up into your chin. You wouldn't want it to happen to you, so don't do it to someone else. Other common airborne faux pas to avoid are; falling asleep in the aisle seat, farting uncontrollably and picking your nose - I sat next to a guy who did all three of these things on a flight from Beijing to Kunming last year, he also spent a solid 20 minutes trying to hoover up his soup while his lips were a good inch away. He's now up there on my list of the world's worst people alongside Adolf Hitler and Bruno Mars.
3. Charge your phone, iPod, camera and kindle.
Plane journeys can be incredibly boring. If you're lucky you might be provided with a selection of the latest mediocre Hollywood blockbusters, if not then it's up to you to entertain yourself. A good book and a decent playlist can easily help kill a few hours as well as giving you an excuse not to talk to the fat American businessman who's dying to tell you his life story. When it comes to creating a travelling playlist I find that the more clichéd the better. I personally recommend the following: Leaving on a Jet Plane (John Denver), Learn to Fly (Foo Fighters), Around the World (Red Hot Chili Peppers), Getaway (Stereophonics) and Holiday (Weezer).
4. Make the most of your layovers.
Any time you're not on a plane is golden. Breathe the non-recycled oxygen, have a look around some shops or pay £10 for a shoddy fry-up in the airport café. Unfortunately a stop in an airport doesn't count as a visit to that city. I've talked to way too many people who claim to have been somewhere only to find out later that they never left the airport - it's like claiming you've slept with Megan Fox because you once brushed past her on the street - you might have been close, but you've never actually been inside.
5. Contemplate what you're actually doing.
Just think about it for a minute. You're travelling above the clouds in an elongated metal tube with wings at 500mph. Yes it's not the most comfortable experience you'll ever have, but it's still amazing. It took Marco Polo three years to get from Venice to Beijing, now you can do it in less than a day. Be thankful you were born in an age where all this is possible, and make the most of it regardless of where you're going.
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