Japan: May Food Blog

I’ve gotten over the habit of taking photos of every meal I eat now – I’ve started to get used to the food and some of it is actually really good. I still haven’t been brave enough to eat much raw fish though.

Yakiniku continues to be a favourite of mine. I thought of opening a restaurant up in Hull, but realised pretty quickly that giving a chav beer and allowing him control of an open flame probably wasn’t ideal.

Lunch is usually something with rice. I’m so good with chopsticks now – I can’t wait to beat everyone at Operation when I get home.

Seen in the bakery near my school. Safe to say I didn’t bother.

Korea’s answer to an omelette apparently.

I actually had no idea what this was when I was eating it. For all I know I ate a big heap of foreskins. It was decent though!

When I’ve had enough of rice and foreskins, I head to McDonalds for a good old fashioned artery-clogging burger.  

Japan: Barbecue Time

I was invited by my new co-worker, Rob, to a barbecue on Friday. It was a national holiday in Japan called “Kempō Kinem-bi” (constitution day), so the place was packed. We headed down at about 9am and I watched Rob wrestle with a gazebo in the wind before he gave up and we started grilling.

The top priority was to claim the beach in the name of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, naturally.

After we’d finished turning Osaka’s beach into a British protectorate, we got to priority number two: liquid refreshment.

People started turning up during the morning so we got to the grilling. Only in Japan would you find rice on a barbecue.

Rob’s baby boy had started to attract a group of nearby girls, so I didn’t realise that my face was slowly being cooked by the sun. I think, having spent most of my life in Hull, I was so shocked to meet girls that could hold a conversation (even in their second language) and not be total über-mega-slut-bitches that I forgot to put on sun-cream. Here’s looking at you Annie Sarj! (There, I’ve mentioned you, now stop bugging me about it!)

Our multi-ethnic barbecue posse.

The strange thing about Japan is that they don’t have a daylight savings time like we do in the UK, so it gets dark at about 6pm. Brilliant sunsets though!

After a full week of sightseeing it was nice to have some time to relax. I met some new people, both Japanese and Western, and I achieved a sun-tan level that can only be described as “bronze”.  Back to work on Monday unfortunately though!

Japan: Chicken Knees and Raw Fish

My most frequently asked since my arrival on Thursday has undoubtedly been “what’s that?”

The food has all been pretty good. There’s some good stuff and some weird stuff, but nothing that has come as too much of a shock – as long as I’m not eating noodles, noodles and more noodles I’ll be reasonably happy.

I was told we were going to a chicken place on Saturday night. Surely you can’t do anything weird with just chicken, right? Wrong.

A fairly normal chicken skewer with cheese

Green pepper stuffed with ground chicken

Chicken and onion kebabs (lots of fat)

This is where it gets weird - these were "soft bone"

Chicken skin with rice

Sunday was sushi night. I’d never had it before but I figured that nothing there would be as bad as having to gulp down a deep-fried chicken’s knee so I went into it with an open mind. The layout is strange; you’re assigned a table next to the long conveyor belt from which you simply pick what you want. You can also order things directly from the kitchen using the interactive screen on the conveyor and they arrive via a chute.

 Tuna-mayo roll

 Raw salmon, onion and mayo on rice

 Grilled eel on rice

Cucumber roll (left) and raw tuna roll (right)

It’s 9pm on Sunday night as I write this (1pm UK time), so I know that my family will probably be sitting down for a nice roast dinner. It’s making me realise that there are some holes that sushi alone cannot fill.

Japan: Sayonara

My feelings as I boarded my bargain £8 megabus to begin my journey last Tuesday were mixed to say the least. A fairly average 7 months in Hull was finally coming to an end and I was about to start what will hopefully be an exciting 3 months in Japan, on the other hand I was leaving a lot behind – not seeing any of your nearest and dearest for that length of time is a difficult prospect to face and as much as I hate to admit it, I will miss Hull. I instantly felt my decision was right when a chunky girl with bright red hair sat in front of me on the bus reminding me not to make the same mistakes as I did in China - I won’t come home no matter how much Dave Jones begs (not until July at least).

Leaving Hull

Two incredibly expensive pieces of card

I arrived at Kings Cross during rush hour where I battled through the crowds to find Alex and Anna who took me to sunny Watford for the night. We decided to get a curry - a decision which I instantly regretted the night before a long flight. After a £15 breakfast the next morning I boarded my first flight from Gatwick to Dubai. I was seated next to two very talkative Arabic men in those awkward emergency exit seats right at the front where you have to make awkward eye-contact with the stewardess during take-off and landing. What was meant to be a 7-hour flight turned into 8 when we had to circle the airport for an hour.

Dubai International was an experience. It was 33 degrees at midnight and the place is practically a city in its own right. Rather than sample the local grub I opted for a McDonalds. I have no idea how much I paid for it (I didn’t check the exchange rate), but it was a welcome break from airline food.

They wouldn't accept my instant win Bic Mac token...  

The Dubai to Osaka flight was a daunting 10 hours, but I lucked out and got a row of three seats all to myself. I was pretty knackered, so I managed to sleep for most of it (there was what can only be described as extremely violent turbulence as we flew over China which I was unfortunately awake for).

I passed through Japanese customs without a hitch and was relieved to see that my suitcase had made it the full journey (it wasn’t having a mini-break around Beijing airport like last-time). My first priority was obviously to try out the famous Japanese toilets which really are brilliant - they have heated seats and a warm water jet to get to places you wouldn’t want to put your fingers. I think the shock of a warm water enema clouded my judgement though, because I left my passport in the cubicle, thankfully a Japanese guy helped avert a crisis when he chased after me with it.

Kansai International

So I’m here safe, I haven’t been exploring yet, but who needs history and architecture to look at when you’ve got this cheeky chappy staring at you in the living room?

China: A Taste of Tibet

After two weeks of rice and noodles I was ready for a change. My boss and his family were going out to meet his brother's future wife and in-laws (apparently a big deal in Chinese culture). I, somewhat rudely, couldn't pass up the opportunity to tag along. What ensued was possibly one of the weirdest dining experiences I've ever had...

The night started by being crammed into a car with 6 other people for a good twenty minutes, only one of them spoke any English. After much nodding and gesturing we arrived at a Tibetan restaurant somewhere across town. This was a proper painting, not just a print out!

Before the food came, a group of traditionally dressed Tibetans brought out a huge horn. I wasn't quite sure of the significance if I'm honest...

After what seemed like ages, the food arrived. You have no idea how happy I was to see something that wasn't rice or noodles. We had a selection of potatoes, broccoli, cabbage, grains and mushrooms as well as some questionable pee coloured tea. It wasn't quite a kebab but it was an improvement.

When everything was done and cleared away we were treated to what I think was dancing. At the end the "dancers" came off the stage and into the restaurant to drag people up for a weird Chinese hokey-kokey around all the tables. I got dragged up and it lasted about 15 minutes. Not ideal after a big meal!

We were then treated to the weirdest fashion show I've ever seen and invited to take photos with the "models". I like the guy dressed as a lampshade.

To finish off the night we were treated to a solo performance from this guy who I like to think is called Chenrique (Half Chinese, half Enrique). He was amazing.

We were then shooed out of the restaurant, and to be honest I was ready for bed. Weekends are killer here!

China: Food Blog

Without an internet connection in my flat I’ve been writing a new blog pretty much every night. Tonight is no exception, although I will hopefully be online from tomorrow so I can go back to wasting half my free time reading the news and browsing Wikipedia instead of doing something productive.

When I originally told people I was moving to China the first questions they asked were about the food. What’s it like? Is it anything like Chinese food in the UK? Will you survive without your usual 5 digestives and a cup of tea for breakfast?

After a week here I’ve learned that the food is nothing like Chopstick House’s finest, that’s not to say that it’s bad; it’s just different. I am struggling to cope without the biscuits though and I’m craving a fry-up…

On my first full day here Antony, one of the teachers at the school kindly brought me breakfast. It was handed to me in 2 greasy paper bags at my front door and I was left in my apartment to discover the delights inside. Bag number 1 was described to me as “bread”. In reality it was some kind of soggy, flat thing with a strange, oriental flavour. Still, I was starving so I wolfed down at least half of it. Bag number 2 however was probably the opposite of what I’d describe as a good breakfast: spicy noodles wrapped in a barely cooked omelette. I had one bite and threw in the towel, I was fresh off the plane and noodles for breakfast would have to wait. This has proved however to be the only time I’ve had any problems with food. 

We’ve been out to restaurants a couple of times and the food’s been great. I’m almost proficient in the use of chopsticks and I’m getting used to Chinese traditions, for example, if you’re invited out for a meal then leave your wallet at home - inviting someone out means that you’re going to pay for everyone. Also, if you get any bone or gristle in your meat, or you don’t like something, you’re encouraged to spit it directly on the floor.

My boss took me out for a meal last night with his wife and daughter so I thought I’d take a few photos of the dishes to show everyone. Instead of ordering one dish each, people generally order a selection and you just take a bit of what you want and put it in your bowl with some rice (surprise, surprise).

This was sweet potatoes with vegetables in some sort of sugary gloop and actually tasted okay.

Eggplant with mince and chillies.

  

This was mince and mash. I was pretty surprised to see it turn up if I’m honest. Maybe next time I’ll see if they’ll make me a toad in a hole.

The dish on the left is tofu and the one on the right was slightly jellied cold beef – both with chillies.

Most of the stuff here is spicy, but nice. My favourite thing so far has been something that resembled sweet and sour pork, but I didn’t manage to get a picture of that. Luckily if I ever get desperate there’s one of these about 5 minutes walk away.